The Van
by Lucky4Track
Summary: Slash; Barney/Ted. Barney kidnaps Ted and won't tell him why they've driven to the middle of no where. Fluff fic. Rating is for the implied.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own the show :)

**Warnings**: slash and fluff

* * *

On the summer August 2010 Ted Mosby was sleeping peacefully when his phone began ringing.

"Yeah?" He answered groggily, vision too blurry to tell who was on the caller ID.

"Ted! Oh God! Oh no-no-no-no-_no_! It's an emergency, get dressed grab your jacket and get over to MacLaren's NOW!" Before Ted could even ask what was going on, Barney had hung up. Fearing the worst, he rushed out of the house at record speed, nearly getting run over by an ambulance as he jaywalked the last street leading to the bar.

When he got there, Barney was waiting at the entrance in what looked to be a rented van.

"Barney, what's going on, why aren't you driving your car?" Ted managed between long wheezing breaths. The blond merely shook his head and beckoned for him to get in. He complied and put on his seatbelt.

"No time, give me your cell phone." Although hesitant, Ted handed him the phone. By now Barney was already driving and to Ted's sheer horror, threw the device through the window, effectively breaking it.

"Wha-! Hey what the fuck?"

"You'll thank me later."

"All my _phone numbers_!"

"I copied them all into a notebook which I mailed to you this morning." Ted was about to retort to that when they ran a red light, scarcely missing an SUV.

"What has gotten into you?"

"If I told you, would you calm down?" Barney asked, turning to him. Mortified, the professor gestured wildly towards the road.

"That depends; have you lost your _mind_?"

"I'll take that as a no. Don't worry buddy, if I'm as good a driver as I think I am, all your questions will be answered in an hour or two." Ted wasn't assured at all, in fact he became so apprehensive that he silently clenched his seatbelt as the man he considered to be his best friend drove through late-night New York traffic with efficiency he didn't know the man had. And by audible sighs of relief, Barney didn't know he had it in him either.

* * *

The hours past and Ted never got an answer because he had passed out shortly after their conversation. It was a miracle he didn't loose control of his bowls as Barney suddenly drove on the wrong side of the road while an eighteen-wheeler powered down the highway not a hundred meters away.

"Where are we?" The concrete jungle was replaced by farmland and they seemed to be driving down a badly paved road.

"Three miles from the border."

"_Why_?" Looking exhausted and content all in one, Barney faced to flash him a small smile.

"We're going camping."

"_**Why**_?"

"We couldn't beat the sunrise."

"Okay… you're really starting to scare me Barney, are you going to tell me what's going on or what? Did you piss anyone off? Sleep with the wrong person- _kill someone_?"

"You'll see." Barney continued to smile and returned his attention to the road. "It'll be worth it, trust me."

Many more questions plagued Ted's mind but it was clear that he wasn't getting an answer any time soon. He tried to tally up all the things he needed to do and found that besides doing a few renovations in the bedrooms, he could afford to miss a day or two. Barely.

"It better be."

* * *

The rest of the ride had gone on in relative silence. They eventually went down a dirt road between two farms and parked the van at the mouth of the forest that divided the two properties. Barney had been serious when he said camping because the back of the van was filled with everything they needed to spend the night outdoors. More suited clothes, sleeping bags, a dome tent, and a cooler filled with hotdogs, beer and juice, marshmallows, gram crackers, chocolate bars and finally a backpack with a disassembled telescope and binoculars.

The blond surprised Ted with how quickly he put together a comfortable campsite, campfire and all. He still couldn't get a single clue as to why they were there out of Barney; the businessman simply assured him that they would be back in New York by Monday.

"And what if I want to go back now?" Ted inquired carefully as they began roasting the hotdogs for supper.

"Oh we're outta gas. There isn't even enough for us to make it to that gas station we passed earlier."

"Barney!" Ted stood from his foldable chair and punched Barney square in the jaw, effectively knocking him to the ground. He straddled him, ready to throw another punch at a moment's notice. "I have been patient, understanding and _very_ cooperative while you kidnapped me but this is just too much Barney, either you tell me what's going on or I swear to God I will kill you."

"Look." Ted realized that Barney was looking right past him and when he followed the gaze, he understood.

The sun was partway below the horizon and with the light from the fire it was hard to see but there were shooting stars. Dozens of them and they were bright enough to overcome the twilight. Ted slackened his grip from his friend and sat beside him on the ground.

"Capricornids. The most there's ever been this year. Before… Shannon, I used to make sure I never missed them. After… you know, I stopped thinking about them all together. But lately they've been the only thing on my mind; I can't even concentrate enough to have sex. I checked every weather site in history and it's here, in this spot that there's the least amount of smog and light pollution, it's just only going to last two days. Tonight is the last _perfect_ night."

"Why'd you bring me along? You could just as easily have run off with a random excuse and we never would have known." Ted asked without taking his eyes off the sky. Two, three shooting stars at a time were falling now, leaving behind white and amber streams.

"I kind of wanted to share this with you." Ted forcefully faced Barney, however, before he could add anything, the blond mirrored him and he caught something in his gaze that he had never seen before. Barney Stinson, New York's most efficient womanizer and shameless businessman had an expression that only somebody with a soul could display. Not just any old soul but a kind and tender one. But the look was there and gone as quickly as the capricornids were falling.

"This doesn't leave the forest. Ever. Not even under torture or life or death situation involving your future kids." Ted stared for a moment and shoved him.

"I'd throw you to rabid wolves if it meant saving my kids."

"Future kids; as in they're not even here yet and won't ever know because you're never telling anyone ever."

"Seriously Barney." Ted only dared to smile when they had both begun watching the darkening sky again.

The show lasted a solid two and a half hours. Barney reliving a lost moment in his life and Ted making sure that all the grief he has been through in the past twenty-four hours was worthwhile. The fire had long since died but neither of them seemed to notice.

"Hey Barney?"

"Yeah Bro?"

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it." Ted laughed softly at the ever-present defiance in his friend's voice and once again pushed him to the ground, playfully this time. The darker haired man could faintly make out Barney's face but he could see enough to tell just how happy he'd made him by coming. Unwillingly or not. They locked eyes and things got really quiet, really fast; all of a sudden the only thing either could hear was their own heartbeat. It was unclear as to who made the first move but it didn't matter once their lips met. Warm and soft and electric, a sensation both alien and natural, frightening and amazing. Soon fingers were tangled in a mess of hair and knees were hooked around legs. It didn't matter that this was insane, stupid, a mistake because it was also elating, overdue and just so _good_.

When their lips tore apart and they searched each other for any signs of regret or disgust, they found nothing. Brown eyes met blue; the darkness between them was useless because they didn't need to see each other because they already knew what they were looking at, who they were looking at. Just to make sure what had transposed wasn't simply some sick twisted joke they kissed again and it was somehow _better_ then the first time. They rolled and whined and hummed and had the best sex either have ever had without even taking their clothes off. Covered in twigs, dirt and grass stains, they somehow found their way back to the tent, hand in hand, feeling drunk even if they had run out of beer five hours ago.

Sleep was claiming them fast and Barney had refused to pry himself off of Ted, murmuring desperate promises he knew he couldn't keep but it didn't matter because at that moment, in that instant he _meant_ it, all of it. When he found that Ted was barely listening anymore he gathered that last of his coherency.

"Hey Ted?"

"Mm… what?"

"My face is killing me."

A rumbling laugh, quiet and filled with affection followed. "Next time just tell me what you're planning."

"It wouldn't have been as fun."

"M'love you."

Barney opened his eyes, not remembering when he had closed them. Ted already looked asleep so he remained silent, squirming to find the warmest possible position.

"I love you too Ted."

* * *

**End.**

* * *

Capricornids a type of shooting star.

There was a lot more I wanted to add to this, like how Barney and Ted got back home and them actually using those binoculars and telescope. And extend some scenes. But truly, this is a feat for me. I haven't finished a story in months, nearly a year. I am still rusty and I could have presented a lot of things in a cleaner way. But I'm still not at the point where I can express the feeling I have in mind for a story. My downfall is that a feeling inspires me to write, and I'm not yet adept at translating a feeling into a sentence or plot without it sounding strange.

But I promised to write this for a friend and I did so I'm happy. Hope you guys enjoyed as well.

**Ignore if you don't have me on alert or don't watch Supernatural**: I haven't abandoned Vacant Crowd, as said above, I have severe writer's block. I am however almost done with a one-shot for any Dean/Castiel fans to make up for my inactivity.


End file.
